Not a universal strategy, but it gave me enough edge to counteract the Spazz-Out Brigade.Īnd of course, the open world also brings with it horse-riding and mounted combat, another thing that's fairly easy to cheese how can it not be when you can attack and then be two post codes away before the victim can so much as glimpse your license plate number? That's probably why your horse disappears as you enter one of the more traditionally Souls-like sprawling castles or dungeons, like a fussy dad is insisting we take our shoes off at the door. If it's in range and not fast enough to hop out of the way, then it's getting cobblestones for breakfast. Here's my beginner's gameplay tip: never heavy attack if you can jump heavy attack, 'cos it's all the damage with none of the windup time, and stuns anything with Poise below ten squillion. Sensible, but little did Elden Ring know it had sown the seeds of its downfall with that little addition. Ho yes a linearly-structured environment might be able to get away with a "Jump" control that feels like playing lawn darts with a bag of damp cement, but in Open-World Land, you need a proper "Jump" button in case we get caught between a hitbox and a hard place. Ugh, how unintuitive! Fucking ruined forever, FromSoftware! They've had to rearrange the face buttons a bit to accommodate the "Jump" button. If you are a Dark Souls vet, the old instincts will require a little adjustment it takes two button presses to switch to two-handed mode now. That was an embarrassing moment to the blacksmith's shop. That's fucking weak, Elden Ring! What, is it the sequel to Smithing Stone ? This is a communication issue the first time I picked up a Smithing Stone, I assumed I'd picked up two Smithing Stones.
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With the usual fussy bitch alteration of terminology, we collect Runes rather than Souls, Crimson Tears instead of Estus, and to upgrade our weapons, instead of Titanite Shards and Large Titanite Shards, we collect Smithing Stones and Smithing Stone s.
None of that Sekiro-brand piddling about with grappling hooks and stealth elements this is mainline Dark Souls classic, meaning you're an immortal dude in a decaying medieval fantasy setting where all the dragons are dying of crotch rot, and you've got a sword and a shield that spends more time in front of your face than your prescription spectacles, and if your spine doesn't yet resemble a McDonald's logo, then you haven't dodge-rolled enough. Seems like a lot of the early bosses fall back on what my schoolyard chums used to very inappropriately call "spazzing the fuck out" and wail on you too fast for you to react or keep your guard up, like everyone's taken the Manus, Father of the Abyss correspondence course and grafted on at least one extraneous limb.īut let's roll back a bit: Elden Ring is open-world Dark Souls. "Is it, Yahtz? Well, hold on while I run cold water over the blisters that searing insight gave me." Look, I've been getting run over by the Souls train for years I'm a fucking vet! And I swear, ever since we all figured out the "roll behind them when they attack and stab them in the bum" cheat code, FromSoftware have been upping the bullshit difficulty with every new game. A little later, that vow kind of fell by the wayside, because chiefly what I remembered of the prior two hours was getting mashed into farmhouse chutney by a dude that looked like an owl pellet got rogered by a semi-truck. But this time, I told myself I was going to really concentrate on parsing the dialogue and item descriptions and figure this shit out upfront. well, yes it's a FromSoftware Souls-y game, and therefore, good, and characteristically light on overt storytelling. "Very droll, Yahtz now tell us if this fucking game's any good so I can decide if I'm taking this gun out of my mouth!" Umm. I've had a lot of trouble with elden ring, but my doctor tells me it's perfectly natural for my age, and I should add more fiber to my diet. This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Elden Ring.
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